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dlganger's Journal

Devin L. Ganger
5 September
No shit, there I was, ancient Mayan idol in one hand, bag of fishing weights in the other, firing at the natives with the Desert Eagle .45 I was holding in my teeth, when suddenly everything froze up and turned a funny purplish-silver color like you get when you hold a magnet too close to the TV screen, only it wasn't a TV it was real life so how the hell could a magnet have done this...oh, yeah, that's right, I'd forgotten about that crazy Ghurka mystic who'd slipped rare earth magnets into the seams of my unitard last year when I went to see him about getting that little problem with leprosy cured, and boy did it cure the leprosy but it also made heavy black hair grow everywhere on my body until I cut out leeks from my diet and now everything's okay, except that those *damned* magnets are obviously affecting the space-time continuum, which will make a handy escape from the cursed temple this time around but I should really make a mental note to do something about it before the fabric of space-time is weakened beyond repair.

Other than that, it's been an ordinary life. I was conceived, I was born, I made my parents miserable, they returned the favor, and now we drive around the country in a tricked-out VW bus and play at big rock-n-roll rallies. Just a normal life.

And if you believe any of this...tell me who your dope dealer is, 'cause you're getting the primo stuff.


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